Education
Living with a facial difference can be a blessing – let’s hope other differences can be too
| By Terry Healey As I reflect on my life, I recognize that living with a facial difference for over thirty-four years has made me realize that my difference is something I own, something only I have ultimate control over. Because I have transformed myself as a person over the years and re-built my confidence and self-esteem by employing my survival kit, I rarely encounter that feeling of being treated differently because of my appearance. Law enforcement, retailers, nor hiring managers have treated me differently for the way I look, except for one caveat with law enforcement, which I’ll cover in a minute. I may have a unique physical appearance, but the way I carry myself must be what prevents others from perceiving me as weak or less worthy. I know, because when I was initially disfigured back in 1985 as a result of a rare fibrosarcoma cancer, and for many years after during the twenty-five reconstructive surgical procedures I endured, my encounters were far, far different—frequently uncomfortable, painful, and often cruel. When I had a large bandage across my face at the age of 22, while hiking, I did have an encounter with law enforcement, where I was given a ticket for trespassing on a fire trail. I was told to put my hands up and to kneel down. I was scared. Was the park officer judging me? I paid the ticket. In the last 25-30 years I don’t feel I have been treated differently. Perhaps my facial difference isn’t severe, or perhaps it is, but I like to believe I live in a world that accepts me for who I am, not for what I look like. This reflection spawns from my thoughts about how far our society has come—or not–when it comes to differences. Juneteenth has just now become a day Americans are beginning to understand, and the protests are a reminder of the importance of our freedom of expression and assembly. The recent awareness of the extreme social injustice that still exists in our country emanating from the death of George Floyd reminds us not how far we have come, but more so, of how far we must go. We have made progress in accepting the LGBTQ community into our society, but are also reminded how far we have to go when the President of the United States attempts to rescind their rights by removing nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ people. Thanks to our Supreme Court, we can live another day hoping our differences don’t ostracize us, and that we can move forward as a society, to one that is more tolerant and accepting. George Floyd, black Americans and the LGBTQ community might look or identify differently from the mainstream, but the continued discrimination they face opens my mind every day. I remind myself, when I look in the mirror, to be grateful and to realize my life has been easy in comparison. My battle scars make me realize how precious and valuable life is every day. So, to those of you with a facial difference, I hope you can learn from my story. And for all the oppressed people in the world, I realize your survival kit may be different due to racism, discrimination or suppression. I hope you can think of my survival kit as a starting point – a way to think through what you’ll need in your arsenal to fight your own battle every day. For everyone else who is reading this, let us all treat each other as human beings, with dignity and respect, become less judgmental, and appreciate our differences. Differences are what make each of us special, unique, and interesting. I find that people remember me because I am DIFFERENT! Say something nice today. Do something nice for someone today. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. Be kind.  *** Terry Healey is a technology marketing strategy consultant. He is also an author and a motivational speaker. You can contact him via email at terry@terryhealey.com. For more information about his speaking and his books, please visit his website http://www.terryhealey.com. |
Welcome!
“As a cancer program administrator, I found Terry Healey’s testimonial of his journey with cancer absolutely inspiring. Terry serves as a great example of how someone can turn a devastating event such as dealing with a disfiguring cancer into a story of resilience and survivorship. He is to be commended for his courage and willingness to serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration to those not only facing cancer but any major adversity in life.Thank you Terry!” Brenda Carlson, Executive Director of Oncology, John Muir Health, November 14, 2015
“Thank you, Terry! What an inspirational speech and a great way to kick off a very productive day for our team! We really appreciate the time you spent, and the valuable insights – and look forward to keeping the connection going.” Kim Laughton, President, Schwab Charitable, February 12, 2015
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This web site is intended to provide information about Terry’s public speaking , his books, and his resource recommendations for others dealing with cancer, sarcoma-specific cancers, and disfigurement.
Follow me on Twitter – terryhealeyus and Facebook – Facebook- Terry Healey
Read my story on OptionB.Org OptionB.Org is dedicated to helping you build resilience in the face of adversity—and giving you the tools to help your family, friends, and community build resilience too. Here, you can read and share personal stories, join groups for solidarity and support, and find information from experts.
Terry’s latest book, At Face Value: My Triumph Over a Disfiguring Cancer, was released by Caveat Press/White Cloud Books. You can purchase the book directly from the author.
Click here to order the book.
At Face Value: My Triumph Over A Disfiguring Cancer
Book Description:
Twenty years old and a junior at the University of California, Berkeley, Terry Healey seldom faced adversity or difficulty. He was confident and not concerned about his appearance. Then a lump formed behind his right nostril. Cancer. He fought it and survived, but multiple surgeries and radiation treatments left Terry to deal with what would become his greatest struggle for years to come – the resulting disfigurement. At Face Value explores the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual challenges forced upon a young man by a disfiguring cancer. It’s a story about tragedy, obstacles, and ultimately, triumph.
What people are saying about At Face Value:
“Anyone who needs to see that there are blessings in every curse should read Healey’s book and learn from his experience about how to create a healing team and how to heal one’s own life.” Bernie Siegel, MD, Author of ‘Help Me to Heal’ and ‘365 Prescriptions for the Soul’
“As a physician I found Healey’s story remarkable – not just because he survived his cancer but because he redefined himself as a person. He is a model for how we should embrace each day. He inspires and puts life in perspective.” Nancy Snyderman, MD, Author of ‘Necessary Journeys: Letting Ourselves Learn From Life’ and regular medical consultant for ABC News
“At Face Value is a must read memoir that will teach all of us great lessons in courage and hope. Healey truly demonstrates the strength of the human soul. Reading his book has provided me with insights that have enabled me to help others as they face cancer.” David Zacks, Immediate Past Chair, National Board, American Cancer Society
“Despite the hope of eventually curing cancer, those who care for cancer patients on a daily basis and those who have a personal history with this dreaded disease will all be better for reading and reflecting on Healey’s very moving book. The experiences outlined in Healey’s book will make us more positive and compassionate.”William Piche, CEO, Good Samaritan Hospital
Buy the book – At Face Value: My Triumph Over A Disfiguring Cancer. (Download PDF order form – 792kb)
Sales Sheet (Download PDF – 780kb)
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