| By Terry Healey As I reflect on my life, I recognize that living with a facial difference for over thirty-four years has made me realize that my difference is something I own, something only I have ultimate control over. Because I have transformed myself as a person over the years and re-built my confidence and self-esteem by employing my survival kit, I rarely encounter that feeling of being treated differently because of my appearance. Law enforcement, retailers, nor hiring managers have treated me differently for the way I look, except for one caveat with law enforcement, which I’ll cover in a minute. I may have a unique physical appearance, but the way I carry myself must be what prevents others from perceiving me as weak or less worthy. I know, because when I was initially disfigured back in 1985 as a result of a rare fibrosarcoma cancer, and for many years after during the twenty-five reconstructive surgical procedures I endured, my encounters were far, far different—frequently uncomfortable, painful, and often cruel. When I had a large bandage across my face at the age of 22, while hiking, I did have an encounter with law enforcement, where I was given a ticket for trespassing on a fire trail. I was told to put my hands up and to kneel down. I was scared. Was the park officer judging me? I paid the ticket. In the last 25-30 years I don’t feel I have been treated differently. Perhaps my facial difference isn’t severe, or perhaps it is, but I like to believe I live in a world that accepts me for who I am, not for what I look like. This reflection spawns from my thoughts about how far our society has come—or not–when it comes to differences. Juneteenth has just now become a day Americans are beginning to understand, and the protests are a reminder of the importance of our freedom of expression and assembly. The recent awareness of the extreme social injustice that still exists in our country emanating from the death of George Floyd reminds us not how far we have come, but more so, of how far we must go. We have made progress in accepting the LGBTQ community into our society, but are also reminded how far we have to go when the President of the United States attempts to rescind their rights by removing nondiscrimination protections for LGBTQ people. Thanks to our Supreme Court, we can live another day hoping our differences don’t ostracize us, and that we can move forward as a society, to one that is more tolerant and accepting. George Floyd, black Americans and the LGBTQ community might look or identify differently from the mainstream, but the continued discrimination they face opens my mind every day. I remind myself, when I look in the mirror, to be grateful and to realize my life has been easy in comparison. My battle scars make me realize how precious and valuable life is every day. So, to those of you with a facial difference, I hope you can learn from my story. And for all the oppressed people in the world, I realize your survival kit may be different due to racism, discrimination or suppression. I hope you can think of my survival kit as a starting point – a way to think through what you’ll need in your arsenal to fight your own battle every day. For everyone else who is reading this, let us all treat each other as human beings, with dignity and respect, become less judgmental, and appreciate our differences. Differences are what make each of us special, unique, and interesting. I find that people remember me because I am DIFFERENT! Say something nice today. Do something nice for someone today. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. Be kind.  *** Terry Healey is a technology marketing strategy consultant. He is also an author and a motivational speaker. You can contact him via email at terry@terryhealey.com. For more information about his speaking and his books, please visit his website http://www.terryhealey.com. |